Shareholder Tee

"The one and only reason that I walk this earth is to create shareholder value."

Your company’s mission statement talks about “values,” “community,” and “innovation.” That's cute, but let’s stop pretending. The only metric that actually matters is how much value can be squeezed out of you and funneled into shareholder pockets.

Your health? An expense line. Your time? Billable hours. Your future? A forecast variable in someone else’s spreadsheet.

• 100% cotton, softer than your quarterly bonus.
  

• Fits true to size, unlike your performance review.

Stop playing along with the “we’re a family” charade. Be honest. You’re here to create shareholder value... nothing more, nothing less.